(on being sweet, as opposed to sour, sarcastic and normally mean, all when it’s awfully tempting) 

coffee cake, tea cake, you are sweet cake. 

As someone who’s favorite mode of humor is sarcasm, dressed up, layered, or perfectly inserted in context, I am very aware how easy it is to be mean and funny in the same second. 

It’s trendy to be mean, and in certain online chat rooms, trendy to be called savage. Slicing out hurtful yet semi-true stinging statements makes you look hardcore, especially when you decline to say little outside of these rare comments. 

That type of behavior, darkly funny, mysterious, weirdly charismatic and magnetic, is dangerous for one reason. 

When one falls into that kind of charm, they fall closer and closer to mistaking someone who is respectfully sarcastic (rare and difficult) as someone who is rude and hurtful. 

Today we’re discovering how to be sweet, in ways that blends in with a mysterious, charismatic image. 

Sarcasm is an art, one that I will not be teaching today. It’s not too difficult to be direct and honest, but it is hard to start being this way. In other words, it’s hard to be bold. 

Humor diffuses the fear of rejection that honestly comes with. That’s why it’s often mean. We need to find a way, as a generation, to relate to other humans using humor without invalidating the human in others. 

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Core Question | How do we turn away from being constantly sour? 

• I call this the normal meanness, because people say that a real friend makes fun of you. And, to a certain extent, I agree. You should be able to laugh at each other together. 
• Among my peers, it’s a real sign of closeness when people are joking over their mishaps and mistakes together, chortling (yes, I used that word) it up. It makes me want more friends. It makes you want friends too. 
• Fake laughter is not fun, and pure funny things are hard to find. 
• I guess the world is so broken, my generation is accustomed to laughing at things that don’t work, as are many. We turn our mistakes into jokes, often veiling them thinly. You want your friend to laugh with you almost bitterly, sharing the pain or irony.

• No one can deny that it’s fun to make biting comments and burns, and slice them out like a master of style. 
• On the other side, do you want to be broken down with your real worries lost in laughter?
• Yeah. No. 

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Take Action

Be kind, evaluate your words before you say them, and apologize after, even if it’s a joke. Show them you care, and don’t sacrifice friendship at the sake of a joke.